Once upon a time there was a young woman who loved long distance relationships.
There were 2 reasons for this:
The first was because she didn’t want folks all in her face every day asking her to bring them food and shit.
The 2nd was because she loved to travel.
She became an expert on the “FLY OUT” and is anonymously providing tips and pointers on “How to Get Flown Out like a Bad Bitch.”
I’ve flown to 6 countries (Puerto Rico, Spain, Italy, Greece, Israel, Japan) and numerous cities (Miami, Detroit, Chicago, Los Angeles, New York City, Houston, Atlanta) to visit baes. I knew these men before flying out, and was at least “talking to” each one of them.
My first fly out was when I was a freshman in college. I met a man who played professional sports when he was visiting the town my university was in. We hit it off instantly, and he immediately asked when I could come see him. A few days later, he sent a text asking for my full name, DOB, and email address. In just 20 minutes, I received an email confirmation for a first class flight.
I told him I wouldn’t be comfortable staying with him since we’d just met a few days before, so he booked (prepaid) a room for me at the W. The day I arrived, he was there waiting to pick me up. Over the next 2 days we went to eat, shop, and just had a great time. We didn’t have sex, either.
I want to be sure to mention that while many people think you “have to” put out when you get flown out, that is not true!
You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. EVER. If you want to, great, I hope its orgasmic. It didn’t happen on my first fly out, and several others.
My worst fly out was with a guy who ended up having a long-term girlfriend. YEARS. They were long distance, and I had no clue about her. We would talk on the phone and text all day (don’t ever let anyone tell you they don’t have time to cheat lol smfh), and I went to see him a few different times. The first time I stayed in a hotel, which was in an area with lots of shops and restaurants. The next two, I stayed at his condo, which was in the same area. Each time he would leave me cash and a car to drive while he went to practice. The last time I flew out to see him, I came back in from shopping and he was already home… on Skype with the girlfriend! He slammed the computer closed but I had already seen her face. WHOMP. I wasn’t set to leave for another 2 days, so I called a cab (this was pre-uber) and went to the airport. I paid the change fee to fly home right then, and took my ass home.
This brings me to my FLY OUT RULES:
- You never pay for your own flight. Ever. Not half. Not an eighth. He wants to see you, he pays, or brings his ass to wherever you are. Secure the entire round-trip, first-class flight!
- Have your lodging secured before you land. Are you staying with Zaddy? Is he getting you a hotel? Have that ish figured out. If he’s getting a hotel, make sure that it is ALREADY PAID FOR, either by him paying upfront, or by him sending you the cash (Cash App, Venmo) to get it. None of that “pay at check-in” or “we’ll figure it out.” Make sure it’s in an area where there are things to do when he has to go to practice or work or whatever.
- Always have backup money. Bring a credit card. Flight change fees or a hotel in case you go visit an undercover Patrick Bateman can be expensive, but necessary if shit goes south on a Saturday and return flight doesn’t leave until Tuesday.
- 2-3 days is long enough for a flyout. You stay too long, and soon he’ll be thinking “Damn, when is this bitch leaving? I won’t need to fly her out again for a long time.” That’s not what we want! Get in, have a lot of fun, get out. Make him wish you were staying longer, not that you were already gone.
- Some zaddys will let you bring a friend on the flyout, especially if they will be busy working during the day. (I know some chicks who mess with married men, so they have a friend come along so she can have company while he’s with his family. I don’t play that shit, though. I don’t want that kind of karma.) This is always fun, but make sure your girl is not an attention whore, annoying, or just extra. She should know her place, that this is YOUR zaddy and she is just along for the ride. I’ve accompanied many a lady on their flyouts. You get to travel for free, go to games/clubs/concerts, and maybe even meet a homeboy. I have met a zaddy this way.
Being A Fly Out Friend
I flew to New York with a girlfriend of mine who had a boo playing on a football team there. I knew I was just the tag-along. Be cute, but not attention-seeking cute. No resting bitch face, say yes to everything you’re asked to do (e.g. go for a walk so they can have alone time, whatever.) Then this can lead you to the next zaddy.
For example, while we were there we went to a game and afterward in the friends and family area, her zaddy introduced me to a teammate. He came to dinner with us that night, and we exchanged numbers. The rest of the time I was there, he made sure to be around. We went to the mall and he offered to buy me a few things but I said “no” (don’t be a greedy bitch when you first meet a zaddy), mainly because I didn’t really know him, but also because I wanted him to fly me out on his own later, and we could shop then…
And that’s exactly what happened 2 weekends later.
If you’ve checked off this list, then you’re ready to go.
Have fun on your #FlyOutFriday.
Also, if you feel like people will judge you, they will. But go forth and flourish on the beach while bitches be hating from their couches.
Anonymous Bad Bitch
Feel free to leave your zaddy stories below!