How Not To Look Like A Basic Bitch While Traveling

We know traveling is an exhausting process and that comfort usually triumphs fashion when it comes to choosing what you pack. But you can have both! Remember that you not only represent your country (as you may be one of the only people from your country that others come across), but you’re also representing your dignity and self-respect on how you want people to approach you and treat you. Don’t embarrass yourself.  Currently, the following rules are fashion faux-paus yet “ugly tourists” violate them all the time, and are thereby defined by these hideous pieces of clothing when traveling.

Dislaimer: Chances are that if you’re visiting this website, you aren’t a basic bitch, but we all have basic tendencies.  Below are the 10 items that make you look like basic af. Just try to do better, fam. And if none of these apply to you, haaaaaayyy, werk!

What Not To Wear While Traveling #1: Chacos

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Seriously, my grandmother doesn’t even wear these. They’re also only sold in one part of the world so you know, you’re screaming “I’M BASIC” to everyone around you. It doesn’t matter what color.  Just stop.

And don’t you dare replace them with Crocs. Oh Lawd Jesus help us. 

What Not To Wear While Traveling #2: Head to toe Grandpa-Swag

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Oh yea buddy, you are DEF gonna be charged extra with this outfit on. Acid wash jeans, aloha shirts, bucket hats, socks with sandals, white socks with white tennis shoes and a camera around your neck… I’m taxing dat ass with a tourist tax cause I know you can afford it. But don’t walk next to me.

What Not To Wear While Traveling #3: Frat Gear

Anything with your frat or your university or any neon letters or anything matching. Like what were you thinking. Of all the things you wanted to greet this beautiful landscape with, it’s that?

What Not To Wear While Traveling #4: Fanny packs

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I’m not sure why I have to say this, but no.

What Not To Wear While Traveling #5: Homeless swag

Go anywhere in Southeast Asia and you’ll find what I’m talking about. If you see a person whose dress look like a potato sack, is completely shapeless, and looks like they haven’t washed it in years. OR they have hemp bracelets around their ankles and wrists, with unwashed sun bleached hair and the same over-sized shirt you’ve been wearing for days, this is called the BEG-PACKER uniform. What is a beg-packer you ask? They’re those irresponsible travers who go around to other countries with no money then beg people on the streets to get to their next destination. But really, they have trust funds at home and are a disgrace to humanity.

And if they’re not a beg-packer, well, I know back-packing is rough but damn, that’s the outfit you chose to wear everyday?

What Not To Wear While Traveling #6: Nike Running Shorts

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I’m not sure why anyone buys these shorts in the first place. Pants should not make you look flat in both the front and the back. Sporty wear is definitely necessary, but your butt deserves better.

What Not To Wear While Traveling #7: Big straw sun hats

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These only look good in theory on pre-arranged pictures on the blog. In practice, they’re way too big to carry around and you’re definitely screaming “TOURIST” to everyone around you.

What Not To Wear #8: Bathing Suits That Encourage Body Shaming

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Many of us grew up with bathing suit fears. Showing too much skin. Not having the “right” body. Well listen. Those are colonized Puritan ideas. We’re grown and can get rid of those now. Hike those shorts up, let me see dem thiiiiighs. Full coverage bottoms make you look like you have grandma saggy butt so don’t be afraid to show off everything you got! Brazilians, micro-kinis, no kini, whatever makes YOU feel most free! Countries around the world have long since embraced this idea so you may find yourself wanting to wear a little less.

On the other hand, maybe you want to fully cover your body and you feel beautiful that way. That’s great, too! Really it is whatever YOU feel most comfortable in.

*Note: some countries do have a bathing suit dress code, so do your research before packing.

What Not To Wear While Traveling #9: Rolling suitcases

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Ugh, you are those people who take up all the space in the overhead bin. Who take up the space of three people while walking and pulling that thing behind you. Who run over people’s feet, who aren’t aware of your surroundings, who struggle to hop off trains and into cars. It’s so selfish.

And if you have a rolling suitcase WITH brand names on them.

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I.

Can’t.

Even.

What Not To Wear While Traveling #10: Honestly, wear whatever you want.

 We don’t pay your bills so feel free to do you. Our silent judgement doesn’t even matter and ignore this entire post.

About The Author

Kiona is not an expert in fashion nor does she genuinely care what you wear. Don’t take her seriously.

23 thoughts on “How Not To Look Like A Basic Bitch While Traveling

  1. The bathing suit comment is certainly wrong. Most of the world doesn’t wear skimpy bathing suits. Miami, Cancun, Ibiza, Bali… yes of course. But In China and much of east Asia women often wear full length pants and long sleeve shirts on the beach. One company in China even markets a Mexican wrestling mask type thing for women’s faces. In El Salvador away from the tourist beaches many locals simply wear tshirts and regular shorts. Partly because buying a specific swimsuit is expensive and because of the sun. In India I don’t think I’ve ever seen a local in a swimsuit. Most of them seem to swim in their regular clothing, including jeans. I’ve also seen Indians in Trinidad wearing jeans and blouses swimming at Maracas. In fact in India a bikini will get you a lot of stares at best and unfortunately worse sometimes. Ditto if you are away from major resorts in Indonesia on an island like Sumatra or Sulawesi local women almost exclusively wear jeans and long sleeve shirts while swimming, and if they are muslim often their full headress. Basically I would say in much of the world outside of major tourist hotels and resorts skimpy beach clothing is not acceptable.

    1. Well, we can agree to disagree. But in my experience, I feel more comfortable with less and found more places that I’ve traveled are completely welcoming to any sort of dress. So it’s not completely wrong. Anyway, you do you. This blog is mostly satire.

      1. I enjoyed the blog. It made me laugh. If I didn’t I would have moved on with my life and never bothered to respond. As for doing me, I’m old and overweight so I’m going to do everyone a favor and not show off my curves. Just found the comment about America being the only country on earth to be inaccurate.

      2. LOL you can be old and overweight and still show off your curves. But thank you for your comment. Would have really enjoyed the compliment as well as your rebuttal. Your examples included conservative aspects of certain countries, yes, but there are many places in the world that don’t embrace conservatism, such as Europe, Central America, South America, Australia, and parts of Asia and Africa. Even the countries you’ve described such as El Salvador and Trinidad, regularly have women in cheeky bikinis on the beach. So of course, women and men are allowed to wear what they want and sometimes religion dictates otherwise, but a country such as America that describes itself as land of the free, is pretty conservative on the embrace your body trend that I feel is a bit outdated. That talking point was to encourage women to not be afraid to embrace themselves.

        But as to that statement being inaccurate: me saying “America is the only country on earth” is a complete exaggeration and is colloquial in speech and is not backed up with any hard facts, nor was it meant to be. It was just used for emphasis. Usually where there are links embedded is where I will back up factual statements with a resource.

        Thank you very much for taking the time to leave both of your comments.

  2. Yasss. Hallellujah. Thank You.
    Chacos are basic.
    I wasn’t sure – but now I am sure – those giant floppy ass hats are basic.
    What is not basic? The hilarity of this awesome post – that a friend introduced and has me dying over here. Thank you Thank you.

    I need advice from your blog: I want to know how to not slap super basic people in the back of their head.

  3. Loooll this list is great! As a flight attendant who travels standby 95%, I have to disagree with the rolley bag one. Rolley bags can also be a sign of a smart traveler who isn’t tryna lose their bag by checking it in (cancelled flights, missed routing, careless baggage handlers etc). We only hate when people have a rolley bag + their whole house with them on board like they’re on a private jet LOL. Great post

  4. I know I’m all late to the party but someone finally backed me up on the damn Chacos! THANK YOU! P.s. how many did you see at OR? LOL! I love this list! No longer do I feel alone on a barren island of basics, you educating all percentage of basic!

  5. OK going to be honest I have worn Chacos (how else does one bike 100km/day in Vietnam while keeping feet sane and non-sweaty/also being ready for hiking adventures??) and they were far more inconspicuous than a pair of cycling shoes! I wear Nike shorts (one simply can not sweat in denim comfortably and Lululemon is ten years out of price range). ALSO a fanny pack worn as a mini messenger bag over the shoulder has got to be the most practical day bag for travelling. In any case, not saying you’re wrong or I resent this post at all – it’s hilarious and necessary – but those are my 2 cents on some of my most well-used items that landed on this list!

  6. I never realized people have issues with rolling luggage….I have to have it tho, as I have back problems and can’t carry much over 10 lbs or so for a long distance without pinching a nerve etc. And I’m confused about the checked luggage issue?! Like, if my rolling luggage is checked at least it’s not taking up overhead space, right? Lol

  7. BUhahahah! Girl you need to be a comedian! I have a fanny pack and I loves it thoooooo. I’m planning a 9 month trip and trying my best to be cute, practical and not carry so much. FML.

  8. Those big backpacks are 100% more basic than a rolling bag… it screams “my parents are paying for my graduation trip, but i want to look like a world traveler”

  9. HA! I definitely hold some pride in believing that I’m definitely NOT a basic bitch, but on this 40 day trip I’m wrapping up on, I have worn my Chacos a lot, and pride myself on my strong zig-zag foot tan, and I’ve worn my chacos with socks, because I want my feet to air out but warm toes too! Besides, you can’t deny that chacos are badass hiking sandals that are super multifunctional. And I’m so glad I packed my black nike running shorts! To my non-basic defense I bought them second-hand and Actually went running in them on probably 30 of my 40 days. Great post though because it probably explains why I get stared at when I wear my chacos and black nike shorts haha!

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