8 Things You Need To Know Before Dating A Cuban Papi and Ruining Your Life

Alright, so you went to Cuba and fell in love. It’s OK. After dating a few Latinos in my life, I am dead serious when I say THERE AIN’T NOTHING COMPARED TO THE SUAVAMENTE OF A CUBAN PAPI. So if you fell for it, you were only doing what was natural and right in the world. Yea, yea, your friends are asking you how that works, exactly? You know with the Trump thing and the embargo thing and the no-internet thing and the only speak Spanish thing. But really, you don’t even know how it’s going to work and wish they would stop asking that question.Dating a Cuban-2.jpg

This blog post is for all y’all who got lost in the Cuban sauce and the things I’ve learned that has made my life easier having a long-distance relationship in one of the most difficult countries in the world.

For the purposes of simplifying this blog post, the author will refer to the Cuban significant other as “he” but recognizes that this is applicable to females as well as non-binary genders. In addition, the author understands this blog post is general as fuck. Every individual is different. These are just common questions and situations that have been submitted to the blog and are being addressed all at one time.

1.If He Hasn’t Proposed To You, He Doesn’t Love You.

 Y’all met yesterday and today you’re meeting his family and tomorrow he’s introducing you as the mother of his future children. Intense, right? You’re like uhmmmm should I be freaked out? Or scared? Or happy? I mean, it’s so soon to be talking about marriage.

Well, getting a marriage proposal is completely normal in Cuba. In fact, if he hasn’t proposed to you, HE’S NOT THAT INTO YOU. But you don’t need to actually marry him. Cubans are just dramatic and that’s just his way of expressing himself.

But from now on, you’ll never date anyone who doesn’t propose to you within the first couple of days. No proposal means he’s just not willing to be extra about you. And we love being extra, right?

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2. Sex In Casa Particulares Is Touchy.

I’m just gonna skip over how sex actually works in Cuba, because I’m sure you’ve gotten plenty of practice. But regardless, staying in the house of a Cuban without paying is ILLEGAL. In addition, the owners of casa particulares probably won’t appreciate you bringing over a Cuban man or woman unannounced. (I mean, WOULD YOU want a potential prostitute in your house?)

Make sure you let your casa owner AHEAD of time, who and how many people will be accompanying you. Your bf will need to show their identification card at check-in. Please respect this. If not, don’t be mad when they cancel your reservation. If it’s just a night of passion, your man will know all the outdoor spots. You think you’re his first tourist? You’re not, no matter how many times he tries to convince you otherwise.

Condoms are practically free, by the way. If you’re really worried about STDs, antibiotics are also free (I know not all STDs are cured by antibiotics). People with HIV were actually quarantined in Cuba so their AIDS transmission rate is the lowest in the world.

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3. Cubans Are Horny Cheaters.

Is a common stereotype you’ll hear often about Cubans. I won’t say it’s wrong. But those Tinder dates are the same exact thing, without the suavamente. I’ve been cheated on by men who live in the same dorm, so I’m not sure distance has anything to do with the ability to be faithful.

I’m going to say this once: the only thing that will keep a man faithful is himself. Life is too short to worry about some shit you’re never gonna know about anyway. But just to save yourself the disappointment, you should expect for him/her to have other physical relationships while you’re away. You’ll honestly never know, so just enjoy this experience. And if you do find out, you should act accordingly to how you would treat cheating in your home country.

With the absence of a strong presence of Catholicism, Cubans are, for the most part, sexually free and not conservative about sex at all. If you’re worried about infidelity, I suggest you not get into a relationship with one. If you’re OK with rolling with the punches and seeing how it goes, and he/she makes significant effort to maintain contact with you while abroad, you should just go with your gut and do what feels good.

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4. Communicating In Cuba Is Complicated, Expensive, And Requires Multiple Apps.

Communicating in Cuba is the most difficult thing. My Cuban papi has to buy an internet card every couple of days (at times spending his entire month’s paycheck just to buy internet to talk to me three times a day), ride his bike to the center of town, connect to internet in the blazing hot sun (IF it’s working), and then try to video chat with me. Most of the time the video chat is frozen and I see his face in this ugly (cute) frozen motion and have to hang up and call again. But you know, considering I’m in air-conditioning, and didn’t have to do all that, it’s all good.

We use the app IMO for video calls, Whatsapp for texting, and Cubacel for email. Email is a special thing in Cuba because they don’t need to connect to internet to send an email. It is part of their phone plan and 100 times easier for them to use, especially if they don’t live near an wifi park. They can only see the last 10 emails sent before it automatically deletes, so don’t be blowing up his email.

Also, you’ll find yourself dropping everything to talk to him once he is connected to internet, because you never know when he’s going to be able to connect again. Let me tell you, that shit gets irritating. I got so tired of carrying around my phone and being available, especially when you’re traveling or at work trying to live your life. It’s best to either have a set time planned to connect and give him your undivided attention. OR email him the time of day you’re able to talk, and then he can meet you online at that time.

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5. If He Hasn’t Talked To You, It’s Because He Ran Out Of Money.

The thing about Cuban papis is that, if they don’t talk to you, it’s never because they forgot about you. It’s because the internet was out in the wifi park or because he ran out of money and can’t buy another internet card. If this happens, you can always top up his cell phone.

In order to “top up” a Cuban cellphone, use the website www.ding.com. Click CUBA, type in his/her number, click the CUBACEL option, and check the amount of money you want to send.

I only top up when there is an “oferta” or sale where you can send $25 and he will receive $50. Sometimes they have specials for international calling. Just sign up for the email.

It took me 8 months of dating before I topped him up for the first time. I needed him to hustle for these phone calls until I felt secure enough to send money. Then when I get to Cuba, he pays me back. But not everyone is paranoid as me, so if you can’t wait to talk to him, go ahead and do so! No judgement.

After this experience, though, let a man not text me back. He will be dead to me. IF HE DIDN’T HAVE TO RIDE HIS BIKE, SPEND HIS ENTIRE PAYCHECK, AND SIT IN THE HOT SUN TO TALK TO ME THEN I DON’T WANT IT.

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6. You Can Take Your Cuban Papi Out Of Cuba.

I haven’t done that, but it is possible. You have to send him an invitation. Many young men have a visa to travel and it is not as difficult as it seems. Just a very long process.

First he needs to get a passport, which takes about a month. He’ll need to take a photo and provide some documents. The cost is 100CUC. Second he needs a visa, which is 140CUC (a little extra to speed up the process if you pay off the guy) and can get denied at anytime without a refund. It’s better if he/she has a car or house that they can put a lean on to ensure he returns. This process takes 2 to 3 months (probably lookin’ more like 3) and the visa is valid for 5 years. I have no idea what documentation you need to provide, but you can check it on the US Cuban Embassy website. Third, he’ll need to buy a ticket.

Unless he is a private business owner or a taxi driver, you will probably have to fund this entire process, which brings me to my next point.

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7. Cubans Don’t Pay For Shit.

This has been, admittedly, the hardest thing for me to overcome. Before dating my Cuban papi, I dated men who would send me money just because, and would definitely pay for my plane ticket, let alone dinner. With the average Cuban salary being $25/month, that ain’t happening. However, it’s actually something I’ve come to embrace because not being defined by money has allowed the Cuban papi to be defined by other things and contribute in other ways. For example, my Cuban papi will cook me dinner, wash my clothes by hand, grocery shop, pack my lunch, lay out my clothes for the day, and overly care about my mind, body, and soul. For me, it’s actually taught me to value different characteristics and realize all of the things money can’t buy.

With that said, I definitely use all of his money before using mine. And he’s honestly so happy to do so. Generations of Cubans usually all live together in the same house, so they’re used to treating money as communal. So he will save up all of his money for three months and give it all to me, and I happily use them all. But I ain’t shit, so don’t be me.

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8. Cubans Are Macho About Other Men And Jealousy Is An Issue.

For some reason, Cuban women don’t have male friends. That concept just doesn’t exist. So our largest fights have been about me hanging out with guy friends, or even being alone with another man in a room. So I’ve just avoided answering a video call when in the room with another dude.

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9. You Date A Cuban, You Date His Entire Family.

Because Cubans are so community oriented, you’ll surely meet his mom, his dad, his brothers, his sisters, his grandparents, his aunt, his uncle, his children, his ex-wife, his cousins, etc. etc. They will probably be equally as nice. But you will find yourself having to bring back vitamins and coffee makers and perfume for the entire pueblo on every trip back.

Don’t feel obligated, but also don’t be an asshole. More importantly, you are not responsible for supporting anyone. Do what you can, but ultimately, keep your needs a priority because they may not understand how hard you had to work to be able to bring those things. They may think money grows on trees in whatever country you’re from.

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In Conclusion

You should treat dating in Cuba like dating in your home country. There is always the possibility of someone being a shitty person. But for me, Cuba is unique in that they haven’t been tainted by the world of social media and Cuba always has a way of making you appreciate all of the things you have.

My Cuban papi is a constant reminder of what is truly important in life. The enormous effort he puts in to make this relationship work is inspiring and unlike what any other man has ever done or has had to do for me. Also, his naivete, though frustrating at times, is for the most part adorable. He has yet to be exposed to how shitty the world is and is so aware about taking care of the people around him and his community, something I feel is seriously lacking in the Western world. I also love that I get to watch him experience many “firsts” in life.

However, this lifestyle isn’t for everyone. So before going all in, weigh your financial situation, your insecurities, and your willingness to go with the flow and be with someone who won’t be able to conceptualize concepts that don’t exist in Cuba. It may not be worth it for you. Everyone is different and there are a million other options in the world to settle on something that doesn’t work for your personality.

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If you have any suggestions for additional apps or services that you can use to communicate with your Cuban amor or have a Cuban amor love story, leave them in the comments below!


284 thoughts on “8 Things You Need To Know Before Dating A Cuban Papi and Ruining Your Life

  1. I fell for our tour guide! And boy did he have some sauce (leche lol). It’s true about the agony waiting on his calls/texts. After two and a half months I have just now been able to relax a little and stop worrying about why he hasn’t communicated bc shit ain’t that simple in Cuba. Also about the sex in Casas Jajaja so how often do you go to visit him? Would be awesome for a bunch of girls to all rent a penthouse. I’m going back May 8-16!

    1. I too fell in love with my tour guide. Lord I hope it’s not the same one because splitting a Penthous sounds lovely. I am going back in April.

    2. Haha don’t look for each other’s men in the comment section! Haha. But I usually go every 3 months.

      1. Where do you fly from to go every 3 months? that is quite often… Thanks for the Blog it answered to many of my question, point 4,5,8,9 are nailed 😉

  2. Jesus Christ you’re a despicable woman. Let me write about my abuse and exploits of the meat market of the empoverished Cuban men. You’re a mediocre white woman your chances of getting with a guy like that in the states are none.
    “I’ve had guys send me & just because”
    You’re a first rate slut is what you’re. Tha cuban guy should dump your ugly ass.

      1. Well a Cuban Man does want a relationship with me, which I’m hesitant about. I don’t like his voice and he speaks broken English, but sexy as hell. But I’ll pass. I LOVE TALL BLACK MEN!!!!

      2. Kind of like western white men write about exploiting Asian women and women from underdeveloped nations and “marrying” them for love? They are having fun. He is an adult. Are western men are abusive sluts as well for going to the Philippines and finding “love”?

        I also noticed that you have a weird hatred for white women too. You sound like the white weirdos who sex tour and think Western white women are supposed to not date anyone on vacation and wait for the same plain, bitter white Western men who are all chubby. Yeah no. Many of us are not white, me included sweetie. Bye with your USA male double standards. The best thing I’ve ever done was date men from around the world.

    1. Kind of like western men write about exploiting Asian women and women from underdeveloped nations and “marrying” them for love? They are having fun. He is a big boy. He can say no if he didn’t want her but he clearly doesn’t. You sound bitter. By your bitter definition, western men are abusive sluts as well for going to the Philippines and finding “love”. Western women are supposed to not date anyone on vacation and wait for the same plain, bitter Western men. Yeah no. Tell that to my bf from Argentina. Bye with your double standards.

  3. I have been dating my boyfriend who I met in Cuba for 6months. I just started topping up his phone this month (had to make him work for it at first hahaha). It is extremely true about them being sexually free but extremely jealous. We became friends on Instagram and he flipped out about my guy friends. He is extremely uncomfortable about having friends who are males. The whole dating his entire family cracks me up because his mom and cousins and aunts etc all talk to me via IMO and social media. I of course wish everyone would stop asking me how this is going to work because it is extremely annoying trying to explain yourself to people who live in a bubble in America and just do not understand. I have no problem visiting him I have two more trips planned this summer. Is it even worth getting a B2 tourist visa now that they moved the embassy to Bogota? You might as well wait for when you’re ready for the K-1 or K-2 fiancé or marriage. I would love for him to meet my family and see what it is like here in the US but paying for the flight to Colombia, then the flight to and from the US, and then the visa for Colombia and the US is a little excessive (and quite frankly out of my price range). So I think I will just continue visiting until we are ready for the next step or should I say I am ready since he has already decided I am the mother of his children etc… hahaha
    Thank you for this completely accurate and honest article. It was cracking me up at how truthful this is. You should let me know the next time you are visiting

    1. We’re in the same boat! I’m head over heels and his fam and mine are super close so everyone is on board. I spoke to a lawyer and we plan on starting the fiancé visa although yes it is super pricey.

    2. Is he in Columbia for baseball a lot of Cubans go there to play baseball., be careful I’ve never met a faithful Cuban.

  4. I just returned from Cuba, the men are gorgeous and really sweet and flattering. Its super easy to be attracted to them. I am accustomed to men pursuing me, but those Cuban men take it to a different level. The marriage infidelity in Cuba is sky-high and I don’t want some wife popping out of the woodwork so I just look and don’t touch.

  5. I love this blog and it’s pretty damn accurate. Thank you for sharing this post. It def is hard having a long distant relationship and it can make you question a lot of things. But it is a unique learning experience and Cuban men are like no other

  6. Couple assumptions:
    1. Based on your post dates, you went to Trinidad & Tobago after Cuba.
    2. You didn’t post pics of you two, so your Cuban Papi didn’t go to T&T with you.

    If the above assumptions are true, and he falls under “8. Cubans Are Macho About Other Men And Jealousy Is An Issue” – how did he handle you and Trinidad & Tobago Carnival (especially after he sees the video of wining)?

    – Trini

      1. Did you guys break up? 2017 was the year I left my Cuban papi! And it felt like a weight off my shoulders.

  7. 2018 = new year. Boom! 🙂
    I wish I read your blog before I went Cuba (I made some basic moves – don’t judge me).
    Thanks for the pearls of wisdom. If we’re ever in the same place at the same time, drinks are on me.
    T&T Carnival 2019 perhaps?

  8. I have been dating a Cuban man he lives in Florida & I live in California, the long distance is a challenge but the sacrifice is very worth it to me. I fly out to see him in Florida twice a year for 2 weeks each time I fly out there, He fly’s to visit me twice a year too for the same amount of time. He is several years younger than me. He’s HOT Green eyes looks like a white boy!! with an amazing body. I met his entire family they love me like I love them. My suegra (mother in law) Is like my second mommy However He treats me like a queen spends money on me like crazy. been dating for a 1 year and 3 months. on the 6 month he has been begging me to move in with him. He’s a very hard worker I love that about him. I am moving at the end of this year December 2018 we have plans to start our own business etc… We are also getting married =)

    Yes it’s true CUBAN men are super jealous we have had rough crazy arguments over my male friends, that sadly I had to choose them or my LOVE, I choice my boyfriend and let my male friends go. I don’t go out but stay home and talk to him or go out with my sons family to dinner or a movie. Cuban men are very Jealous, Obsessed , Skeptical, Insecure, . So be ready especially if they fall in love with you. I am working with him on this.

    He does allow me to have lunch with my girls but that’s it!! Cuban men are DYNAMITE in BED!! out of my 3 serious relationships I have had! He is has been the BEST!! Cuban men are so devoted and give everything when making love to you. I am In love with mine. We have so many GOALS to reach together. They are very Dramatic , I love my babes Cuban Accent it’s so HOT!! LOL I even speak Cuban to Him with the Cono, Candela, the list goes on.

    Literally you have to find the right Cuban Man to settle down with! Not many are ready to settle down!!

    You don’t have to fly to Cuba to meet one. There are lot’s of Cuban men in MIAMI or Tampa FL . He loves the fact that I am super Intelligent have degrees a great JOB! He also has a great JOB

    Do not get involved with a Cuban Man if you are not willing to deal with STRONG CHARACTER-INSECURE-JEALOUSY-SKEPTICAL-CONTROLLING-MACHISIMO-DEMANDING.

    You got your Pros & Cons


    1. Rose your lucky because when you meet them in Cuba they are trying to leave and have no money. So you don’t know their intentions. You have a good one.

    2. Oh rose the sexy got you and the voice and the white man look my god you sound like me talking about my Cuban man . I hope he’s good to you but be careful
      Once they ha e you in look
      Out you get the hole family and he will
      Ask you for things and help
      Him to send stuff to his family and oh gosh I do t have no money for my phone can you put money on it . I hope you never here all
      Of this . I’m in the shoes your getting in but girl
      I can’t let go it’s something about him that Ajax want take off lol . I wish you the best .

  9. Hi ! I’m engaged to a Cuban! I have been traveling back for the last 8 months! Your article is great! I’m happy I’m not the only
    One. It is all
    Worth it . Are you
    Still together!???

    1. We are not! After 2 years we broke up, but we still talk everyday so I’m not sure haha.

      1. @ how not to travel like a basic bitch
        I’m dating a Cuban and planning to get marry in April… however i have my doubts…do you mind if we chat privately? Thank you in advance.

    2. ME and my cuban are on the rocks he just got back from Cuba again I do not like sharing my man and he had a six months nth affair went to her two times in Cuba said well it was a thousand miles away well I’m sorry it so t matter if it’s a thousand miles or across the street cheating is cheating . This has caused us big problems the courts separated us because I put my hands on him he sure is sorry now but my problem is building the trust up again . We live in the United States and we work together but now we are apart

      1. I have started the process! We are extremely happy. He is amazing and I feel it is genuine. I trust him! We are marrying over the summer hopefully !

      2. How many times are you gonna share this story Dana? Just divorce him.

    3. Hi Dana, Would chat with you about traveling to/from Cuba to see your fiancé! Congrats on the engagement 🙂
      – Nicole

      1. Nicole I only travel with my Cuban man to Cuba we both in the United
        States he’s been here 16 years he’s is citizen. We been together 8 years but they always want to go back to Cuba and cheat with the Cuban women . I hate it. . It happen to me and I have meet so many Cuban men in the United States that ha w a wife here and a wife there . In there culture they think it’s ok the Cuban woman don’t care as long as they get some money out of the deal or they dump you then being there woman . I’m
        Not saying all of t are that way but be careful
        They play with your heart the first think they learn to say is I Love You Over there they thinks it’s like we say I like you . Here we are very stright we do t tell everyone we love them it’s very different in United States. I wish you the best me and mine are working things out. I forgive but don’t forget

  10. Congratulations I hope it works out for you beware when you get him out of Cuba . They change they leave you for another cuban woman or they will have one on the side . I hope and wish you the best

  11. I am dated someone outside of Cuba, we got along amazingly. She ended up telling me she has someone back in Cuba, she needs to discover if its real or not. She’s in her 40’s and he’s in his 20’s, she told me he wants children and she doesn’t want anymore so she says. He is coming to visit her for the first time, in your opinion will this work out?

    1. No lol. But he is probably so suave he will definitely romance her for a few years guaranteed.

      1. Hi are you going back to Cuba anytime soon?? Also for this trip
        This is my first time in Vinales . Anything that is a must!!

  12. If she is in America and you are. first of all her 20 year old boy friend can not just come visit she has to be married to him or fiancée. Cubans can just not come visit . Becareful I’m with a cuban and he went back to Cuba to cheat on me and it got me tore up because the girl is looking for a free ticket to the United States

  13. I don’t think it applies for every Cuban. If a person is going to cheat they can cheat on you when you live with them or in a different country.

    1. Hi Dana. I’d love to hear a bit more about your engament / marriage experience. Any chance that we can chat I private?

      1. Hi dana, i would like to get more input on the same same marriage, I’m been dating a guy from Cuba for a while, we chat in private

  14. Hi, i recently went to cuba and also fell for a tour guide. Its been difficult to comunicate with him specually because his phine wasnt teally working anymore, i ofered to give him mine but he wouldnt take i he said he was saving for one so i came back home and alling hi. Is become so expensive. How do you comunicate via email? Do u have to create a special email adress using nauta or is it through my regular gmail?

  15. Hey! welcome to the club haha. I’m happy you found a Cuban love! Now my Cuban tour guide does have a cellphone and we communicate through various apps: Cuba Messenger is free and it connects through his e-mail So he will be able to message you from home without finding Wi-Fi. Whatsapp we use for texting and IMO is an app most Cubans use for video chatting. My email is amyanndillon@gmail.com you can email me with any questions if you like.

  16. goshh… so good to know i’m not the only one… just got back from Cuba a week ago today. fell in love with..guess.. my tour guide haha! i’m nearly 40 and been through a lot in my life and am very much aware of all the shit in this world but with him i have to say it feels different.. genuine, honest.. it’s just this distance.. i’m in the uk so it takes about 20 hours in total to get to Cuba …
    trying to find the best possible way to contact him. for now i send him messages and he beeps me when received… :/ with all the tourists every day he’s a bit busy and still hadn’t have time to set up all these apps yet 🙁 but thank you all for the tips. much appreciated. wish you all the best

  17. Great blog! Same exact situation happening now to me and I am absolutely loving it. No regrets. I have two questions though. Can I travel to cuba by myself? And where can I stay where he can come and stay with me without any issues? There are restriction on allowing Cubans to come into hotels or casa particulares. Pls help. You can email me at pjspanisheyes@aol.com. wound also like to know how the email thing works…thanks 😁

  18. I have been dating a cuban man for over a year. Went 3 times. started the process of getting him here. We were very much in love. Well…. He has another fiancé in Belgium. I contacted the Belgian dude. He had no idea either. I usually can see thru BS. But this dude got me. He truly was professional. Be very careful. Life there is very difficult.

  19. Thanks for writing and sharing your experience with your Cubano – everything written here made me sane again (They propose to you the first time they see you 😀 – I died!!) This entire site is golden!!!

  20. Mine is driving me crazy he’s in United States with me but he wants to build a house for when we get old over in Cuba but I’m worried cause he just had affair over there and I’m scared he will do it again . I’m just in limbo with him I’m so in love and can’t let go and keep praying it’s all going to be wonderful in the end

  21. I love this article. My Cuban man has his residency and is in the US. I had never dated anyone like him before. Thank you for all of the wonderful insights!! I find some things are very similar as the article, But much easier since he is in the US. Thank you so much for sharing!!!

  22. This article gave me such relief but some of the comments have me anxious. Ha ha. My friends and I met a guy on the street and we later ended up keeping in contact. I am a very rational person and so it has taken 6 months for me to even open up to the relationship idea. But most are right. I have met a**holes in church. Distance does not make a shitty person and so I am coming around as he is such an amazing person. Glad I happened upon this blog.
    Q: In one pic it looked like you two were on a plane. Where did you go and can we hear a little about the process? I am interested in meeting up in places where Cubans can travel.

    1. Don’t listen to the comments. Some people put themselves in those situations. We took a plane from Havana to Santiago de Cuba for our two year anniversary. I think it was two years? Not sure, don’t remember haha. It was his first flight experience. It was AMAZING TO WATCH. Like makes me feel warm inside.

      1. That’s the best thing about being with a Cuban fresh from the island – all of the awesome firsts.

  23. Great read thank you … I also was bitten by the Cuban bug … I will say make sure you know what you are getting into when it comes to walking down the isle … Your husband can also divorce you after you leave and you would have no idea… just a little food for thought, the men can be VERY intoxicating … thanks again for your very accurate blog 🙂

  24. I love this article!!! So relatable in many ways. I fell in love with a Cuban man on my last trip to Cuba in March. Absolutely head over heals for him. Going to see him again at the end of this month, and I already have 4 more trips planned out for this year alone. I’m Canadian so it’s easy for me to go see him. I truly believe from the bottom of my heart that he’s a genuine nice guy. But I must be honest, it’s scary at times, because you never really know if he loves you or he’s looking for that green card. Regardless, giving this a chance because I’m absolutely crazy about him and he seems to really love me. Cuban men are like no other, that’s for sure!

  25. Take your life day by day hope for the best and plan for the future in the back of your mind, keep faith in Jesus Christ and appreciate the things that are really important in life from an authentic cuban american there’s only one race in the world and that’s the human race

  26. I like a cuban entertainer I met on my resort ..I see every girl flirt with him and he flirts back but at the end of the day hes at the park video chatting me and introducing me to his friends. I felt in Cuba because I went alone whereass other girls were in groups I got to know him one on one. I am going back and hes missing me weve been talking since the day I came back in May. He did like the friend I made and asked to be her boyfriend.. but he knew her for few weeks he had just met me and at the time I was hanging out with another guy on the resort. Also she didnt like him like that. When he got to know me he started want to teach me spanish phrases and to go to the disco with me sadly I said no because I had ran out of money for disco and had an excursion the next morning. I felt with him he created a good friendship and bond with me and that a proposal doesnt mean anything. Some men will take their time and its better for any relationship. The girls hes mainly flirted back with arent that pretty and I am very pretty. I am wondering if he compliments them just so they send money. He compliments the littlest things about me like when my hairs in a bun, or how I have a big heart. He wanted to me to speak something in spanish to his cuban friends so they could hear me on videochat. I am excited to go back on the resort and see him in August month. He knows this time around we will be dancing together. I am from montreal and i’m young and so is he. I was just wondering if you kiss a cuban or say more things happened between me and him if dieases can happen? He looks clean. But I also don’t want to take a risk.. Also are we allowed to invite them to our room? The only reason why I ask this is because I have connection with him and he only knew I liked him after I left the resort and now it may be getting serious. He even teased me a lot and asking me about songs to get to know me which is so sweet. I am staying anoym.
    He has mentioned money to me before but it was bout videochatting. But I havent gave him anything and he still has video chatted me at night in the park. I like him I don’t know what to do. In cuba when we were alone and he was teaching me spanish all the cuban bartenders were starring at us like in a cute way

  27. i Am 25 years old i got married at the age of 24 i have only one child and i was living happily .After one year of my marriage my husband behavior became so strange and i don’t really understand what was going on, he packed out of the house to another woman i love him so much that i never dream’s of losing him, i try my possible best to make sure that my husband get back to me but all to no avail i cry and i cry seeking for help. i discussed it with my best friend and she promise to help me he told me of a man called Dr.Mack, he is a very great man and a real man that can be trusted and there is nothing concerning love issues he cannot do that is why they call him Dr.Mack. I contacted his email address.And i told him everything that happen all he told me that i should not worry that all my problems will be solved immediately. He told me what to do to get my husband back and i did, he said after One hour my husband will come back to me and start begging, it really happen i was very surprise and very, very happy our relationship was now very tight and we both live happily again. So my advice for you now is to enter this [DR.MACK THE LOVE SPELL CASTER] on Google and you will get his contact…

  28. Hey so I know you’re not with your Cuban man anymore but I was wondering if you (or someone in the comments) could give me some advice on my situation.

    I met my guy at the resort I stayed at, he was a pool boy there haha and we really connected and I spent some good time with him there. I am back in Canada now and am hoping to see him in February, but he wants me to stay at his home where he lives with his parents, while my friends stay at a resort 20-40 minutes away. I will be 22 when I go, as will he, and he seems like a nice guy but is this a good idea and course of action to stay at the home of a man I only knew for a few days? I really want to be able to just sleep next to him, but I also have to consider my safety, and my friends are incredibly skeptical of this guy as they did not meet him on our trip.

    If anyone has some advice, I would be pleased to hear it!

    1. You can’t stay at his house if it’s not a registered casa particular. I recommend staying at a casa particular together.

  29. Some male scoop. I am researching ways to get my female partner to visit (not commit) and stumbled on site….fun…thanks, I never hear female versions of events. I have been to Cuba several times.
    1.I am friendly guy although my Spanish is probably a four on a ten scale…so guys tell me scoops. Cubans often tell me it is normal to have more than one girl. That it is routine. That every guy knows it…..
    2. I have been with guy friends (Cubans) and they basically undress and say anything to someone passing by, and then we keep talking about soccer, or whatever……it means little to them other than a game…..they could careless, the difference between them an an American is they don’t want to be openly shot down…..that’s about it.
    3. ninety percent of the time or more there is a money angle, so be very very careful.
    4. casa particular generally do not care whom you bring over, just tell them ahead of time through email AND if they say something don’t book that place. Like say, is it okay to bring a friend over if we are not too loud. They don’t care, they are adult about sex.
    5. a friend and I rented an apartment and entire floor did not care that we made a party near every night, but we asked before arrival SO not to surprise.
    6. if you are traveling to CUBA it can be draining….one stuff does not work…….two EVERYONE needs money and unlike other places where it can be understandable, at some point Cuba drains your soul.
    7. look to have fun……do not look for serious relationships……it is not worth your time and will not come to anything 98% of the time

    and show them how kind and good Americans are……respect them, and be kind……..

    Cheers…………guys will often tell guys what their real thoughts are……not the fake stuff they tell girls……..they want to improve their economic outcome in any way they can….and if you were not busy all day, wouldn’t hanging out with a tourist and having some fun be better????

  30. Girl!!!!! You described my life haha!!!! My Cuban husband proposed to me right away. He had this suaveness to everything he spoke and he was so poetic and handsome it drives me crazy still. And yes I met his grandparents and parents and sisters all st once and omg it was so overwhelming!! Best article ever. Love your raw honesty ♥️

  31. Hola amigos y amigas…
    I am writing as a newly divorced American woman. I’ve been following this blog since early December 2017, which is when I went on a 9-day tour of Cuba as a solo traveler.
    First, I had never done a tour before, and always prided myself on solo travel, or with my ex husband, no tours, just us. So this was a breakthru for me in a way.
    Going through a major divorce/separation, which took away nearly 2 years of my life, coming up on a significant birthday in December at the end of last year, as well as holidays to be spent alone, and my impending divorce settlement coming up in early January of 2018, it was daunting to consider a trip like this.
    Both financially and emotionally.
    But one of a lifetime, and I considered it a gift to myself…to hopefully, bolster my soul for my then-current situation and the uncomfortable things to come.
    Boy was I right…on all counts!
    On day #1 of the tour, I stepped onto a tour bus (gack!!) and met my soul mate.
    We toured for 8 more days, and my tour guide became not only a dear friend, but a confidant. He and I shared moments and special talks that I will never forget.
    Try explaining mortgage payments, health insurance payments, income tax, divorce attorney fees, spending over $200 a month to have unlimited phone and internet service (in my own home!!!), and the like, to someone whom makes $25 per month, plus tour tips and has to ride his bike to the park at 11pm just to check email or text on IMO.
    First world problems of mine, which I came to realize on the tour and since then, are not really problems, just inconveniences associated with the priviledge of living with the “freedoms” provided by a capitalist democracy.
    Over the course of now, just past 7 months, my friend and I have kept in contact quite a bit.
    We are not having a love affair in the true sense, just a very supportive and kind friendship, built on love, but one that can never be 100% fullfilled. Although, it is still very, very intense.
    Fullfillment, to me, came with sharing not my body, but my soul and emotions with this incredible, witty, worldly, kind man. He will never leave Cuba, as he said he wants to see Cuba change, if not in his lifetime, then hopefully during his daughters’ lifetime.
    I am truly grateful, and although physical contact would have been incredible I’m sure, I think back to passing through the security at the Santa Clara airport on my final day, and the long bus ride to get there, and am glad we did not have to part with the additional emotion of that. It was difficult enough to just say goodbye.
    Since then, we have shared holiday and birthday texts, countless video chats and emails, exchanged photos of ourselves doing silly things, even an email on International Womens’ Day (how many of your male friends sent you a note simply thanking you for being beautiful, on that day or really any other day huh???), Mothers’ Day greetings (I don’t even have children!!), World Cup soccer, art, work, weather, food…you name it…although I’d like to, we may never see each other again, but we have these moments to cherish.
    Which I will forever, as they helped me recover my confidence and dignity, reminded me that I can be loved, and love, again, and the entire experience not only with him but his country, changed, and will continue to change, my life for the positive.
    If you wish, feel free to download and listen to songs such as “Saturday Sun” and “Lay It On Me” by Vance Joy, or the “Love Song” cover of The Cure by 311. These are what remind me of my experience and how I feel now.
    As the previous blogger said, eventually Cuba will drain your soul.
    Or as in my case, help sustain it.
    As my friend says at the end of each written dialog, and now I do as well: “abrazos y mucho amor”.
    Hugs and much love.

  32. read every comment…. *opens expedia to book my flight to Cuba*!!! I love everything you post girl!!!! Im travelling SOLA to Cuba and thinking of staying in one of the places you referenced in you Cuba blog post… Am looking forward to my experience there… was a bit scared cus it’ll be my first solo trip, but fuck it, I need a Cuban papi too!!! hahahahah <3

  33. Just an update. We filed our papers in the beginning of the year and I’m now pregnant. So excited to get him here. Immigration process is awfully long. He’s absolutely amazing. I will say he was NOT my your guide. He randomly happened to be on vacation with his family when I was at the beach they were at. I also met him on a day where I forgot to bring my money to the beach. After getting to know the culture… I’d say to stay clear from the tour guides and any English speaking Cubans who try and dress fancy and hang out at tourist spots. There’s a word the locals use for them ( I forget what it was) and their main goal is praying on tourists to hopefully be their ticket out of the country. Tour guides are actually “made fun of” by the locals and we also notice the men that work at the resorts dress up and go hit on foreign girls at tourist spots… so that would be my advice to stay clear. My fiancé would point them out to me everywhere we went. My situation turned out amazing but you do need to keep your guard up with certain people there.

  34. Hello, my story is a bit different but I thought I would share it.
    I’m half Cuban, my mom is from a province from the center of the island. I visit Cuba every year because almost all of my mom’s family still lives there. His grandma is my grandma’s neighbour and we have known each other since we were kids however we never had any type of communication until I was 15 (Now i’m 18 and he is about to turn 20)
    Since I was a young teen my mom always warned me about not fooling around with any of the boy’s from my grandmothers neighbourhood (which is were I stay at when I’m in Cuba)
    Anyways, we’ve been interested in each other for a few years now and we talk regularly. I don’t know what it is about him but when i date / like someone from the country were i’m from, I always seem to compare them to him. Ill visit him this year again. I’m not thinking about marrying him because I’m obviously too young for that. But I’m still not sure if his intentions are pure and uninterested. I guess time will be determine that.

  35. Hey there is there any way I can email you, I am currently in a situation with a Cuban it’s been a year would love to talk to someone who’s been through it

  36. As a Cuban guy reading this post, I know it’s very general like she said, but most Cubans guys have female friends, and its pretty normal. Being a “macho papi” its another thing.

    She got very right the part about Cubans not being faithful and just overlooking any other physical contact. I’m glad she metioned it

    But, I’d say that a Cuban can be deeply in love and don’t propose. Even the first week. That would be REALLY strange in Cuba. Actually, if a Cuban papi proposes you even on the first travel, he’s definitely into you beacause of money or just to get out from Cuba.

    The girl told something that’s the first time I even read about. A Cuban inside Cuba sending money to a person outside Cuba or even paying the money after. IMHO that’s the BEST sign a Cuban is f*nckly, ridiculously, deeply, in love with you. Propuse to that papi and you’ll live happily ever after.

    Please, feel free to email me and ask if your Cuban papi goes for real 🙂 I even helped a Canadian association for avoiding Canadian women being scamed by bad papis.

    1. Sooo all these comments have been giving me anxiety, but after reading your comment I feel a little less. My Cuban guy has been paying for half my flight. So, I’m guessing this is a good sign?!?!

  37. Just came back from Cuba yesterday and really needed to read this blog post. My story: went to Cuba for 5 days. Met this guy on day 2 in Havana, left to Varadero for 2 days so we technically only spent my last evening there together. At the airport I went right past the money exchange and kept all of my remaining Cucs. I feel like I’ve lost my mind that I am actually considering going back to see him. But now I see that i am not the only one.

    Keep sharing your stories.

  38. Just want to say how much I enjoyed this article.
    Never been to Cuba, and probably will never be – too complicated from the U.K.
    I am Jewish, over 30, and my wild days are definitely over! From your descriptions, those Papis sound très risque!
    It’s good to know however that some of you sisters were willing to get out from your comfort zone and try things out.

  39. Loved this! I’m flying to Cuba next week and I have to say…I wouldn’t mind some male attention.
    Not really planning to fall in love with one, mostly because I don’t live anywhere permanently and I move around the world, but more so after I read your notes about the cheating, jealousy and financial support (I’m having troubles supporting myself).
    But…I guess a Cuban fling never hurts 😉 Especially if they know how to treat a lady right. Which seems to be impossible to find in the western world these days.

  40. Thanks for this article!!!! I have also fallen for a hunky Cubanito papi 😅 we met in havana back in June in a funky underground club and danced the night away… Spent 4days in havana together (he lives right in the centre of Old havana) and have been talking everyday non stop ever since via imo, email, and Facebook….im going back in January to see him again…im a dual citizen with usa and UK but I live in amsterdam, nl so he knows I’m not the best person to marry got a greencard as I haven’t even lived myself in the states for 17yrs! But eventually if love conquers all I would like to show him the world…im a big traveller and its amazing for me to imagine he has never seen life outside of Cuba….anyways thanks for the article girl!!

  41. OMG, this is the best blog post ever! I usually just skip parts of the text and not even read comments but I already spent over 30 minutes reading and laughing and being kind of worried as well.

    Guess what, I felt for my tour guide (I really think we should share names here, bug chances it is overlapped). I had THE most amazing, magical time in Cuba and oooooh girl, the best sex I ever had in my life. They definitely know how to treat a lady in bed. I left the country in tears and now back home I am depressed just thinking when I can come back and see him again.

    Well, in my case he cannot expect much (as flights, green card, ticket out of country etc) because I am from a country in South America, I assume not very interesting for someone who would think about using me as a way out.
    Don’t take me wrong, I don’t think that’s what he wants anyway. He even gave me money when I was in Cuba because I couldn’t manage to exchange CUCs so I used a lot of his help.

    He seems to be into me as well and I do plan to come back, but to be honest not sure how long this excitement can last, from my side I know it could but I am afraid to come back in 2-3 months and be forgotten.

    Well, at least I can say I had the time of my life and that guy will be in my memory forever. I have no doubt about it.

  42. Yea feel you girl I think I’d die with out my papi we live together in the United States and yes the sex is something that no American man can do my god . You can write him call him go threw llama Cuba to call him well from us I’m not sure about your country

  43. Can someone tell me how risky it is to stay with your cubano when you go to visit them at their place? My boyfriend lives right next to a casa particular and the owner said I can register at his place so that I can stay with my boyfriend but do you think its risky?

    1. No it want be . We’re you from the Cubans will take better care of you then your own people . I’m going Sunday

      1. It’s because I heard it’s illegal to stay with locals unless they are a registered casa particular … My boyfriend says I can register but I’m nervous it’ll just be that I can use the neighbours address and put it down at the airport but that’s it…as I heard if he actually registers me there he needs to pay tax… Argh it’s so confusing haha

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