8 Things You Need To Know Before Dating A Cuban Papi and Ruining Your Life

Alright, so you went to Cuba and fell in love. It’s OK. After dating a few Latinos in my life, I am dead serious when I say THERE AIN’T NOTHING COMPARED TO THE SUAVAMENTE OF A CUBAN PAPI. So if you fell for it, you were only doing what was natural and right in the world. Yea, yea, your friends are asking you how that works, exactly? You know with the Trump thing and the embargo thing and the no-internet thing and the only speak Spanish thing. But really, you don’t even know how it’s going to work and wish they would stop asking that question.Dating a Cuban-2.jpg

This blog post is for all y’all who got lost in the Cuban sauce and the things I’ve learned that has made my life easier having a long-distance relationship in one of the most difficult countries in the world.

For the purposes of simplifying this blog post, the author will refer to the Cuban significant other as “he” but recognizes that this is applicable to females as well as non-binary genders. In addition, the author understands this blog post is general as fuck. Every individual is different. These are just common questions and situations that have been submitted to the blog and are being addressed all at one time.

1.If He Hasn’t Proposed To You, He Doesn’t Love You.

 Y’all met yesterday and today you’re meeting his family and tomorrow he’s introducing you as the mother of his future children. Intense, right? You’re like uhmmmm should I be freaked out? Or scared? Or happy? I mean, it’s so soon to be talking about marriage.

Well, getting a marriage proposal is completely normal in Cuba. In fact, if he hasn’t proposed to you, HE’S NOT THAT INTO YOU. But you don’t need to actually marry him. Cubans are just dramatic and that’s just his way of expressing himself.

But from now on, you’ll never date anyone who doesn’t propose to you within the first couple of days. No proposal means he’s just not willing to be extra about you. And we love being extra, right?

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2. Sex In Casa Particulares Is Touchy.

I’m just gonna skip over how sex actually works in Cuba, because I’m sure you’ve gotten plenty of practice. But regardless, staying in the house of a Cuban without paying is ILLEGAL. In addition, the owners of casa particulares probably won’t appreciate you bringing over a Cuban man or woman unannounced. (I mean, WOULD YOU want a potential prostitute in your house?)

Make sure you let your casa owner AHEAD of time, who and how many people will be accompanying you. Your bf will need to show their identification card at check-in. Please respect this. If not, don’t be mad when they cancel your reservation. If it’s just a night of passion, your man will know all the outdoor spots. You think you’re his first tourist? You’re not, no matter how many times he tries to convince you otherwise.

Condoms are practically free, by the way. If you’re really worried about STDs, antibiotics are also free (I know not all STDs are cured by antibiotics). People with HIV were actually quarantined in Cuba so their AIDS transmission rate is the lowest in the world.

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3. Cubans Are Horny Cheaters.

Is a common stereotype you’ll hear often about Cubans. I won’t say it’s wrong. But those Tinder dates are the same exact thing, without the suavamente. I’ve been cheated on by men who live in the same dorm, so I’m not sure distance has anything to do with the ability to be faithful.

I’m going to say this once: the only thing that will keep a man faithful is himself. Life is too short to worry about some shit you’re never gonna know about anyway. But just to save yourself the disappointment, you should expect for him/her to have other physical relationships while you’re away. You’ll honestly never know, so just enjoy this experience. And if you do find out, you should act accordingly to how you would treat cheating in your home country.

With the absence of a strong presence of Catholicism, Cubans are, for the most part, sexually free and not conservative about sex at all. If you’re worried about infidelity, I suggest you not get into a relationship with one. If you’re OK with rolling with the punches and seeing how it goes, and he/she makes significant effort to maintain contact with you while abroad, you should just go with your gut and do what feels good.

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4. Communicating In Cuba Is Complicated, Expensive, And Requires Multiple Apps.

Communicating in Cuba is the most difficult thing. My Cuban papi has to buy an internet card every couple of days (at times spending his entire month’s paycheck just to buy internet to talk to me three times a day), ride his bike to the center of town, connect to internet in the blazing hot sun (IF it’s working), and then try to video chat with me. Most of the time the video chat is frozen and I see his face in this ugly (cute) frozen motion and have to hang up and call again. But you know, considering I’m in air-conditioning, and didn’t have to do all that, it’s all good.

We use the app IMO for video calls, Whatsapp for texting, and Cubacel for email. Email is a special thing in Cuba because they don’t need to connect to internet to send an email. It is part of their phone plan and 100 times easier for them to use, especially if they don’t live near an wifi park. They can only see the last 10 emails sent before it automatically deletes, so don’t be blowing up his email.

Also, you’ll find yourself dropping everything to talk to him once he is connected to internet, because you never know when he’s going to be able to connect again. Let me tell you, that shit gets irritating. I got so tired of carrying around my phone and being available, especially when you’re traveling or at work trying to live your life. It’s best to either have a set time planned to connect and give him your undivided attention. OR email him the time of day you’re able to talk, and then he can meet you online at that time.

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5. If He Hasn’t Talked To You, It’s Because He Ran Out Of Money.

The thing about Cuban papis is that, if they don’t talk to you, it’s never because they forgot about you. It’s because the internet was out in the wifi park or because he ran out of money and can’t buy another internet card. If this happens, you can always top up his cell phone.

In order to “top up” a Cuban cellphone, use the website www.ding.com. Click CUBA, type in his/her number, click the CUBACEL option, and check the amount of money you want to send.

I only top up when there is an “oferta” or sale where you can send $25 and he will receive $50. Sometimes they have specials for international calling. Just sign up for the email.

It took me 8 months of dating before I topped him up for the first time. I needed him to hustle for these phone calls until I felt secure enough to send money. Then when I get to Cuba, he pays me back. But not everyone is paranoid as me, so if you can’t wait to talk to him, go ahead and do so! No judgement.

After this experience, though, let a man not text me back. He will be dead to me. IF HE DIDN’T HAVE TO RIDE HIS BIKE, SPEND HIS ENTIRE PAYCHECK, AND SIT IN THE HOT SUN TO TALK TO ME THEN I DON’T WANT IT.

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6. You Can Take Your Cuban Papi Out Of Cuba.

I haven’t done that, but it is possible. You have to send him an invitation. Many young men have a visa to travel and it is not as difficult as it seems. Just a very long process.

First he needs to get a passport, which takes about a month. He’ll need to take a photo and provide some documents. The cost is 100CUC. Second he needs a visa, which is 140CUC (a little extra to speed up the process if you pay off the guy) and can get denied at anytime without a refund. It’s better if he/she has a car or house that they can put a lean on to ensure he returns. This process takes 2 to 3 months (probably lookin’ more like 3) and the visa is valid for 5 years. I have no idea what documentation you need to provide, but you can check it on the US Cuban Embassy website. Third, he’ll need to buy a ticket.

Unless he is a private business owner or a taxi driver, you will probably have to fund this entire process, which brings me to my next point.

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7. Cubans Don’t Pay For Shit.

This has been, admittedly, the hardest thing for me to overcome. Before dating my Cuban papi, I dated men who would send me money just because, and would definitely pay for my plane ticket, let alone dinner. With the average Cuban salary being $25/month, that ain’t happening. However, it’s actually something I’ve come to embrace because not being defined by money has allowed the Cuban papi to be defined by other things and contribute in other ways. For example, my Cuban papi will cook me dinner, wash my clothes by hand, grocery shop, pack my lunch, lay out my clothes for the day, and overly care about my mind, body, and soul. For me, it’s actually taught me to value different characteristics and realize all of the things money can’t buy.

With that said, I definitely use all of his money before using mine. And he’s honestly so happy to do so. Generations of Cubans usually all live together in the same house, so they’re used to treating money as communal. So he will save up all of his money for three months and give it all to me, and I happily use them all. But I ain’t shit, so don’t be me.

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8. Cubans Are Macho About Other Men And Jealousy Is An Issue.

For some reason, Cuban women don’t have male friends. That concept just doesn’t exist. So our largest fights have been about me hanging out with guy friends, or even being alone with another man in a room. So I’ve just avoided answering a video call when in the room with another dude.

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9. You Date A Cuban, You Date His Entire Family.

Because Cubans are so community oriented, you’ll surely meet his mom, his dad, his brothers, his sisters, his grandparents, his aunt, his uncle, his children, his ex-wife, his cousins, etc. etc. They will probably be equally as nice. But you will find yourself having to bring back vitamins and coffee makers and perfume for the entire pueblo on every trip back.

Don’t feel obligated, but also don’t be an asshole. More importantly, you are not responsible for supporting anyone. Do what you can, but ultimately, keep your needs a priority because they may not understand how hard you had to work to be able to bring those things. They may think money grows on trees in whatever country you’re from.

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In Conclusion

You should treat dating in Cuba like dating in your home country. There is always the possibility of someone being a shitty person. But for me, Cuba is unique in that they haven’t been tainted by the world of social media and Cuba always has a way of making you appreciate all of the things you have.

My Cuban papi is a constant reminder of what is truly important in life. The enormous effort he puts in to make this relationship work is inspiring and unlike what any other man has ever done or has had to do for me. Also, his naivete, though frustrating at times, is for the most part adorable. He has yet to be exposed to how shitty the world is and is so aware about taking care of the people around him and his community, something I feel is seriously lacking in the Western world. I also love that I get to watch him experience many “firsts” in life.

However, this lifestyle isn’t for everyone. So before going all in, weigh your financial situation, your insecurities, and your willingness to go with the flow and be with someone who won’t be able to conceptualize concepts that don’t exist in Cuba. It may not be worth it for you. Everyone is different and there are a million other options in the world to settle on something that doesn’t work for your personality.

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If you have any suggestions for additional apps or services that you can use to communicate with your Cuban amor or have a Cuban amor love story, leave them in the comments below!



Add yours →

  1. I fell for our tour guide! And boy did he have some sauce (leche lol). It’s true about the agony waiting on his calls/texts. After two and a half months I have just now been able to relax a little and stop worrying about why he hasn’t communicated bc shit ain’t that simple in Cuba. Also about the sex in Casas Jajaja so how often do you go to visit him? Would be awesome for a bunch of girls to all rent a penthouse. I’m going back May 8-16!

    • I too fell in love with my tour guide. Lord I hope it’s not the same one because splitting a Penthous sounds lovely. I am going back in April.

  2. Were are you from the United States ?

  3. Best Cuban dating article ever written. Thank you ♥️

  4. Jesus Christ you’re a despicable woman. Let me write about my abuse and exploits of the meat market of the empoverished Cuban men. You’re a mediocre white woman your chances of getting with a guy like that in the states are none.
    “I’ve had guys send me & just because”
    You’re a first rate slut is what you’re. Tha cuban guy should dump your ugly ass.

    • Lol I’m not white? You need help, fam. Also learn how to spell before you leave comments here, thanks

      • Well a Cuban Man does want a relationship with me, which I’m hesitant about. I don’t like his voice and he speaks broken English, but sexy as hell. But I’ll pass. I LOVE TALL BLACK MEN!!!!

      • Ginabrelle Persneevius February 21, 2018 — 7:32 pm

        Kind of like western white men write about exploiting Asian women and women from underdeveloped nations and “marrying” them for love? They are having fun. He is an adult. Are western men are abusive sluts as well for going to the Philippines and finding “love”?

        I also noticed that you have a weird hatred for white women too. You sound like the white weirdos who sex tour and think Western white women are supposed to not date anyone on vacation and wait for the same plain, bitter white Western men who are all chubby. Yeah no. Many of us are not white, me included sweetie. Bye with your USA male double standards. The best thing I’ve ever done was date men from around the world.

    • Ginabrelle Persneevius February 21, 2018 — 7:27 pm

      Kind of like western men write about exploiting Asian women and women from underdeveloped nations and “marrying” them for love? They are having fun. He is a big boy. He can say no if he didn’t want her but he clearly doesn’t. You sound bitter. By your bitter definition, western men are abusive sluts as well for going to the Philippines and finding “love”. Western women are supposed to not date anyone on vacation and wait for the same plain, bitter Western men. Yeah no. Tell that to my bf from Argentina. Bye with your double standards.

  5. I have been dating my boyfriend who I met in Cuba for 6months. I just started topping up his phone this month (had to make him work for it at first hahaha). It is extremely true about them being sexually free but extremely jealous. We became friends on Instagram and he flipped out about my guy friends. He is extremely uncomfortable about having friends who are males. The whole dating his entire family cracks me up because his mom and cousins and aunts etc all talk to me via IMO and social media. I of course wish everyone would stop asking me how this is going to work because it is extremely annoying trying to explain yourself to people who live in a bubble in America and just do not understand. I have no problem visiting him I have two more trips planned this summer. Is it even worth getting a B2 tourist visa now that they moved the embassy to Bogota? You might as well wait for when you’re ready for the K-1 or K-2 fiancé or marriage. I would love for him to meet my family and see what it is like here in the US but paying for the flight to Colombia, then the flight to and from the US, and then the visa for Colombia and the US is a little excessive (and quite frankly out of my price range). So I think I will just continue visiting until we are ready for the next step or should I say I am ready since he has already decided I am the mother of his children etc… hahaha
    Thank you for this completely accurate and honest article. It was cracking me up at how truthful this is. You should let me know the next time you are visiting

  6. I just returned from Cuba, the men are gorgeous and really sweet and flattering. Its super easy to be attracted to them. I am accustomed to men pursuing me, but those Cuban men take it to a different level. The marriage infidelity in Cuba is sky-high and I don’t want some wife popping out of the woodwork so I just look and don’t touch.

  7. I love this blog and it’s pretty damn accurate. Thank you for sharing this post. It def is hard having a long distant relationship and it can make you question a lot of things. But it is a unique learning experience and Cuban men are like no other

  8. Couple assumptions:
    1. Based on your post dates, you went to Trinidad & Tobago after Cuba.
    2. You didn’t post pics of you two, so your Cuban Papi didn’t go to T&T with you.

    If the above assumptions are true, and he falls under “8. Cubans Are Macho About Other Men And Jealousy Is An Issue” – how did he handle you and Trinidad & Tobago Carnival (especially after he sees the video of wining)?

    – Trini

  9. 2018 = new year. Boom! 🙂
    I wish I read your blog before I went Cuba (I made some basic moves – don’t judge me).
    Thanks for the pearls of wisdom. If we’re ever in the same place at the same time, drinks are on me.
    T&T Carnival 2019 perhaps?

  10. I have been dating a Cuban man he lives in Florida & I live in California, the long distance is a challenge but the sacrifice is very worth it to me. I fly out to see him in Florida twice a year for 2 weeks each time I fly out there, He fly’s to visit me twice a year too for the same amount of time. He is several years younger than me. He’s HOT Green eyes looks like a white boy!! with an amazing body. I met his entire family they love me like I love them. My suegra (mother in law) Is like my second mommy However He treats me like a queen spends money on me like crazy. been dating for a 1 year and 3 months. on the 6 month he has been begging me to move in with him. He’s a very hard worker I love that about him. I am moving at the end of this year December 2018 we have plans to start our own business etc… We are also getting married =)

    Yes it’s true CUBAN men are super jealous we have had rough crazy arguments over my male friends, that sadly I had to choose them or my LOVE, I choice my boyfriend and let my male friends go. I don’t go out but stay home and talk to him or go out with my sons family to dinner or a movie. Cuban men are very Jealous, Obsessed , Skeptical, Insecure, . So be ready especially if they fall in love with you. I am working with him on this.

    He does allow me to have lunch with my girls but that’s it!! Cuban men are DYNAMITE in BED!! out of my 3 serious relationships I have had! He is has been the BEST!! Cuban men are so devoted and give everything when making love to you. I am In love with mine. We have so many GOALS to reach together. They are very Dramatic , I love my babes Cuban Accent it’s so HOT!! LOL I even speak Cuban to Him with the Cono, Candela, the list goes on.

    Literally you have to find the right Cuban Man to settle down with! Not many are ready to settle down!!

    You don’t have to fly to Cuba to meet one. There are lot’s of Cuban men in MIAMI or Tampa FL . He loves the fact that I am super Intelligent have degrees a great JOB! He also has a great JOB

    Do not get involved with a Cuban Man if you are not willing to deal with STRONG CHARACTER-INSECURE-JEALOUSY-SKEPTICAL-CONTROLLING-MACHISIMO-DEMANDING.

    You got your Pros & Cons


  11. Hi ! I’m engaged to a Cuban! I have been traveling back for the last 8 months! Your article is great! I’m happy I’m not the only
    One. It is all
    Worth it . Are you
    Still together!???

    • How Not To Travel Like A Basic Bitch March 14, 2018 — 3:26 am

      We are not! After 2 years we broke up, but we still talk everyday so I’m not sure haha.

      • @ how not to travel like a basic bitch
        I’m dating a Cuban and planning to get marry in April… however i have my doubts…do you mind if we chat privately? Thank you in advance.

    • Have you started the process yet???

    • ME and my cuban are on the rocks he just got back from Cuba again I do not like sharing my man and he had a six months nth affair went to her two times in Cuba said well it was a thousand miles away well I’m sorry it so t matter if it’s a thousand miles or across the street cheating is cheating . This has caused us big problems the courts separated us because I put my hands on him he sure is sorry now but my problem is building the trust up again . We live in the United States and we work together but now we are apart

      • I have started the process! We are extremely happy. He is amazing and I feel it is genuine. I trust him! We are marrying over the summer hopefully !

  12. Congratulations I hope it works out for you beware when you get him out of Cuba . They change they leave you for another cuban woman or they will have one on the side . I hope and wish you the best

  13. Luna you can write me at tonyanddana08@yahoo.com

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